Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeof

I used all the tips Amanda gave me like when I skipped over some parts or moved too fast. I also lengthened my epic simile to make it EPIC. When I was reading it out loud, I fixed some parts that didn't flow well or just didn't sound good. I also realized that I repeated lots of words alot

Alessia Caruso

I rewrote my entire rough draft, however, used the tips and comments Thomas had given me. I changed Athena’s attitude towards Odysseus and made my thesis clearer. Additionally, I changed my delivery of my speech. I spoke slower, putting more emphasis on certain words, and used hand gestures.

Odyssey Revisions- Jacqueline Dugan

In my story, I changed many things after seeing the comments posted by my partner and after I read it out loud about 5 times.  I changed some vocabulary to make it more sophisticated.  For example, I changed "I went far into the palace" into "I traveled deep into the depths of the palace".  I also added more description and adjectives.  Instead of just saying "i looked away from the suitors eyes", I added "I looked away from the suitors cold, sharp eyes".  I also added more thoughts Penelope was having during certain times, like her feelings and emotions.  I added an epithet and an epic simile.  I also tried to read it more clearly and in a way Penelope would tell the story.

Editing reflection

After editing my story and reading it over 5 times I changed grammatical and presenting errors. In my paper I changed the tense, edited the simile and made sure that my thoughts were developed and that everything flowed. When I read out loud and recorded my self it was easy to find the errors because not only did they sound awkward when I said them but I was able to actually watch myself speak and see the pace, the clearness of my speech and add emotion to the speech.

Odyssey Story Revisions

After reading my story five times aloud, I altered some of the sentences to make it sound better, and I added more to the story. In the content of the story, I changed some of the sentences, so that they would be easier to speak and make the story sound better.  In my delivery, I changed it sound that I ha d varying tones based on the situation I was talking about, so the story would not be monotone and dull.

Odyssey Story Revisions

My first draft had several issues with poor phrasing and grammar, as well as some unresolved tense issues, and by reading my story aloud I could fix these. There were also sections where I had failed to explain the context of what was happening fully, so reading it aloud helped me to see where the story was congruent and where it needed to be redone. Adding context and fixing phrasing and grammatical issues were the only changes I made to the text, but I also had to change several things in the delivery of my story. I needed to slow down, enunciate, and work on my rhetoric in general.

After reading my story for five times, I corrected some grammar mistakes and wrong sentences. I also added some details to my story as I read.
I recorded myself when I read the story for the third time, and found out I spoke too fast that some of the words were hard to recognize and mispronounced. Thus, I tried to speak slowly and more clearly in my fourth and fifth time which sounded much better.

Revisions for my Story

After getting back comments about my story, I made a lot of changes in order to make it sound more like Eurycleia as well as making it include more detail. To do this, I added more sentences that were her personal thoughts during the events occurring, and I described the events in more detail. Additionally, I tried to improve my epic simile by elaborating more and including more descriptive words.

After reading the story outloud, I fixed some sentences that sounded off and noticed that some of my verbs were in the wrong tense. I also changed the wording of some sentences to make it sound less formal, and instead, something that Eurycleia would say.

Odyssey storytelling corrections

After I practiced telling my story aloud, I found that there were sentences I needed to make sound clearer and smaller fixes to make sense of the context I was speaking in. I found that when I spoke the story aloud, it was almost like proofreading it over again, but I could actually hear the sentences to see if they made sense grammatically and in the context of my story. So I went back and changed a couple of those sentences.

As for the delivery of my story I found myself sounding more monotoned and not very expressive, for my presentation I need to make sure I use hand gestures and use different tones for different parts/emotion in the story.

Book 22, Telemachus Rough Draft changes

For changes to my first draft, I didn't make any huge changes from my first draft, just some corrections in spelling, I added more epithets, hopefully improved my epic simile, and added more descriptive details about how he felt, what he saw, and what he thought.

For changes in content I added more descriptive words to make it sound alittle better and I fixed a few run on sentences so that they were alittle more smooth sounding.

For changes in delivery I made myself alittle louder so that it was easier hear, I stood up straighter to make myself slouch less, and I made myself look at my notes less when reading so that I could start memorizing all of the details of the story better.

Spina - Odysseus Revision to Story

1. The changes I made were just details and making everything flowed smoothly when I was talking so that it wouldn't be choppy, and that I wouldn't have to stop and look at my story because everything would flow.


2. In the content of the story, I just re arranged words so that it sounded better as I'm speaking and also so I do repeat myself. When you write it, it sounds different in your head than when you actually say it aloud.


3. In my delivery, I want to make sure I don't use to many hand motions because I talk with my hands a lot, which isn't too bad because I'm being interactive in a way. Also, I want to make sure that I am clear in my delivery. I tend to mule sometimes where people can't hear me, so I want to make sure I am as clear as possible and go at a steady pace.

Alessia Caruso: Point of View

The first thing i had on my to do list was to go back to Circe’s and tell her what had happened. Then again, she was the person that told me to meet with Tiresias. So I told Circe what had happened in the land of the sea, not that I saw my mom, but what Tiresias had said to me. After I had explained to her what had happened, she informed me about something that I was not expecting. Circe said that I would have two journeys to complete and during those journeys I would encounter Scilla, the devourer, and Corruptus, the swallower. Let me tell you, that was not what I wanted to hear. I was yearning for Ithaca and the people in it, my wife, my child, and my mother.Then I remembered what I saw in the Land of the Dead and discarded that memory. Beyond that, I was missing my dog, the shadows of the long afternoons, the terraces and vineyards, and the scent of herbs on the breeze. Life was simpler in Ithaca and I couldn't wait to be home. I knew that I would have to face anything, to get my life back to how it used to be.

Jacqueline Dugan monolauge

Song of Spheres

One of Odyssesus men’s point of view

It all started at the sandbank.  Everything about that island gave off a bad vibe.  We went straight to Circe’s island. When we got there Odysseus went straight to Circe and told her everything that happened on the island.  I couldn’t hear quite well but I did hear Circe telling Odysseus that there were several trials he had to go through until he would find the island of the sun god perian.  She went on talking about the events Odyssues would go through on his journey, such as a six headed dragon named skilla who would kill six of his crew members.  When I heard this I got really nervous.  My palms started to sweat and all I could wonder was if I would be one of the men who is killed.  I would talk to Odysseus but he didn’t really care about his crew, only about him returning home.  In the morning, we went on our way.  We passed the daughter’s of the muse and Odysseus insisted we pass by so he could listen to the music.  He made us cover our ears.  He started screaming but all I could see and hear was him mouthing words.  We continued on and all Odysseus could hear was a song.  He was distracted while we tried to keep the boat afloat.  He called this song “the song of the spheres”.

Josh- Odysseus, Shipwrecked

After my men were killed by the awful dragon I kept sailing.  Soon I saw an island just as Tiresias had described, with beautiful cattle.  I knew I could not stop, or else bad curses would happen.  One of my my men, Eurilochus said he doubted if I was even a man, or a god in disguise, because I didn’t mourn about the men being killed.  I knew this was not true at all, but my crew seemed to agree with Eurilochus.  WE stopped the boat, only after they agreed not to touch the cows.  Soon after we docked, I fell asleep.  I was woken by Eurilochus shaking me, and he showed me the great storm that was going on, and how if we would have left, we'd be dead.  However, the storm went on for days,  and days turned into a month.  We ran out of food, and were so tempted to eat the cattle.  I went and made a big fire and prayed to the gods, hoping for the storm to end.  When I woke up, the storm was over, but when I went back to camp, my men were roasting two cows.  Eurylochus came up to me and offered me a cut, he said they sacrificed the best part of the cow to the gods, and the storm ended.  I knew the meat was cursed, and refused.  We set sail, but a weird cloud was covering the sail.  All of a sudden, a huge lightning bolt came out of nowhere and destroyed the ship.  I knew it was Hyperion and Zeus's doing.  Soon I realized we were in Kurpius, a great whirlpool Circe warned me about.  I grabbed a hold of a fig branch, and escaped for a second.  All my men were killed, but I prayed to the gods, and was spared. I drifted and reached an island.  A nymph rescued me and said her name was Calypso.  Soon she fell in love with me, but I refused, only loving my wife Penelope.  I stayed there for seven years, thinking about how I refused Calypso for someone I haven’t seen in so long.  I was actually nobody, there wasn’t anything I could do.  Eventually I built a raft and left.  BUt soon Poseidon destroyed it and I swam for three days and landed on the island of King Alcinous.  All I want is to get back to Ithica, where everything is.  I’ve lost everything.          

Tiresias-Calvin

I was doing spiritual things in the land of the dead when all of a sudden, I smelled blood. I hurried to it and saw three men holding off the other spirits.  I recognized their leader as Odysseus. He let me drink and when I had, I told him all the knowledge he needed to know. I told Odysseus that he would land on an island where he would see the Sun God's cattle and that he would lose everything if they killed one. Then he saw something, screamed and ran off and I never saw him again.

Eurycholus' Perspective - Shipwrecked - Poulios

We sailed for days after leaving the island of Circe. Our ship finally reached an island, but Odysseus said we must go on. The crew and I went ballistic. We just went through a terrible tragedy. Our friends were eaten by a dragon! I demanded that we land on that island. Odysseus finally agreed, and we landed. The island looked like paradise. A herd of cows grazed lazily in the sun. Odysseus told us to only eat the things we had brought from Circe. We complied with the request despite the appearance of the cows. I fell asleep that night filled with the food from Circe. She trapped us and turned us into pigs earlier, but we trusted her now because of the prophecy of Odysseus. I woke up suddenly in the night. I heard a howling wind. Rain drenched my clothes. I shook Odysseus awake to brag about how I had been right. We shouldn’t have sailed on or our bones would have washed ashore by the time the storm was over. He awoke. I showed him the storm. The storm went on for several days. We ran about of bread, cheese, and wine. We had no more food left. Odysseus wandered off that day. I had no idea where he was going. He was crazy, so why should it concern me. We hadn’t seen Odysseus for days after he had left. I assumed he died. We got so hungry that we disobeyed Odysseus and killed two of the cows. While we were feasting, Odysseus showed up. When I offered him a piece of meat, he looked horrified as if I was suggesting he eat a person, and not a cow. He didn’t eat. That was fine for me because it was more for the sane people on the island. When we finished most of the cow, we packed it up and sailed on. While we were sailing, a strange cloud formed above us. All of a sudden a lightning bolt struck our mast and tore our ship to shreds. Debris floated around us. I could hear laughing. It was probably Odysseus welcoming death. I struggled against the current that pulled me. I was stuck in a whirlpool. I got whipped around like a ragdoll. I saw Odysseus holding onto a branch, and that was the last thing I saw. I got sucked the underwater by the current, and then there was only darkness.

Shipwrecked- Calypso

I found Odysseus on the shore of my island when I was doing my daily walk. He looked like he needed some help so I brought him to my cave and nursed him back to health. As I nursed him I fell instantly in love with him and offered him immortal life if he would  just stay with me. At this point I didn't know what was going through his head but then he refused my offer. I was so angry I trapped him on my island for seven years and tried to convince him to stay with me and to love me. He never fell in love with me or accepted my offer so eventually I had to let him go because of Athena. I gave him the materials to create a raft and he sailed off. We spent seven years together and I don't think I will see him again.

Odysseus' Mother- "Land of the Dead"

A journey is not completed without a goal. My son Odysseus set out on this journey to find the homeland Ithaca. Odysseus misses the terraces, vineyards, scent, mountainous regions, sandy beaches, and he missed me. He realized how much time had gone by without my embrace. In the underworld, Odysseus has seen my reflection, making him realize his reason for the journey was to come to his homeland, where unfortunately I will not be at by the time he gets back. The underworld is on the other side of the "River of Forgetfulness", it's safe to say Odysseus was forgetful of me, his mother. The time flew and he didn't realize which will make his journey a lot more rough knowing I will not be on the other side of it to praise him.

Land of the Dead- Odysseyus

I just wanted to go home. I missed everything from there, and my memories of Ithaca and my wife Penelope were the only thing that kept me going through the land of the dead. Fortunately Circe gave us supplies before we left because as we went north to get to the underworld, it got colder and colder until we could almost not even function properly. We finally made it to a giant wall of fog. Having no choice, we went into it and sailed through it for what seemed like forever. The grayness and gloom of this endless ordeal was unbearable. At long last we made it to a sand bank, and my men and I took a few sheep and began to walk into the living nightmare that was the land of the dead. The bleakness of the underworld infected my men and I. I felt like all my worst fears were coming true and I could barely think. My mental and psychical capabilities were so subdued I felt as though I had been drugged. At last we came to a dark oily river, which I recognized as the river of forgetfulness. Across the river through the fog was the land of the dead. We dug a little hole in the sand and slit the throats of the sheep we brought along as a sacrifice to the dead. The ghosts of the dead rose up, and were more terrifying than any war of bloody combat me and my men had ever seen. I told my men to keep the ghosts back so Tiresias could drink the blood and then tell us the prophesy. They were so horrified they could only stand and stare. I tried to keep the eerie specters at bay, and fortunately I saw one ghost more dignified than the others, and I knew it must have been Tiresias. I let him drink and when he had had his fill I inquired about my fate. He told me that my journey would be hard because of Poseidon fury. However if I could control my crews and my urges by not slaughtering the sacred cattle of Hyperion we could make it home safely. The catch was, if we weren't able to control ourselves and did slaughter his cattle, Hyperion would go to Zeus and demand revenge so the only way I could ever reach my homeland was alone, unknown, under a strange sail, and find danger waiting where there should have been welcome. And even if I could overcome all this stuff, the only way for me to ultimately avoid the wrath of Poseidon would be to go inland, plant and oar in the ground, and make sacrifices. Only then could I be at peace with him, and I could live a long and happy life. The easier option was obviously to just show my humility by not slaughtering the cattle. If I could just do that I'd be home quickly. Then among the ghosts I saw the saddest thing yet, my mothers ghost. That meant even once I got home, she would be gone. I left the underworld with a deep sadness because I knew I would never see my mother again, but also with a sense of hope, because I was now closer to being able to get back to my beloved homeland of Ithaca than I had been in thirteen long years.

Athena

Athena, the goddess of Wisdom, was watching this big battle in her own palace. Through the 3D magic mirror she owned, she saw the mirror suddenly transformed into a big whirlpool, and all the crew on Odysseus's ship was sucking by that giant hole. She could see the fear and horrified expression showed on each person's face, and their despair and desire to live when they nearly reached the very bottom of the hole. Athena was eager to save their life, but her power was far less than Zeus. Suddenly, she noticed that Odysseus was struggling in the edge of the whirlpool and had not been sucked in yet. Thus, Athena transformed three tons of water into a big wood trunk that will carrying Odysseus away from danger. When Odysseus was floating, Athena let six dolphins to guide him in this endless ocean and he finally reached a island where Calypso took care of him very well. 

Shipwrecked - Charybdis' point of view (Spina)

They were lurking slowly towards me as the storm raged on. The large red cloud and the storm above me distracted Odysseus and his crew. They clearly didn’t know what was coming but were along for the ride. They were about to face Charybdis! After all, I am the most treacherous whirlpool that cannot be stopped. Not even the most powerful Zeus would be able to get them from my tight grasp. Once they get sucked in, they can never go back. That’s the end for them. After basking in my own glory, Zeus’ lightning bolt thrashed down on Odysseus’ ship tearing it limb from limb. As the crew members try to hang for their lives, they descend into the water and squirm, trying to find a way out. I sneak up behind them and suck them down. I ripped all of them to pieces just leaving their carcases at the bottom of the ocean. That’s where they’ll stay. Odysseus was the only one left. His ship was gone, and he was hanging on for dear life on a weak branch. I tried to swallow him up as well, but just as I got over to him and was about to let him face my wrath, the storm led up as he passed through the clearing and was out of sight. If only I would have been able to swallow up  “The Great Odysseus”, maybe then I would have been satisfied.

Song of the Spheres- The Sirens

I begin to sing on top of the pile of bones that I have been standing on for what seems like forever. The sun beats down on me as I look across the shimmering water, and am surprised to see a ship coming our way. Who are these people? I sing with the other sirens and fill the air with a beautiful song, trying to curse the men that are intruding our land. I peer at the men on the ship, hoping that they will become enchanted. However, the men push forward, looking unaffected by our song. The only man that looked somewhat dazed was the one tied to the mast of the ship. He was screaming out orders to his crew, yet none of them seemed to notice. How? I tried to focus and started to sing the Song of the Spheres, but still, the men did nothing. We made the sounds of the beating of a swans wings, the sound of the sea, the moan of the wind, and the rhythm of the passage of the seasons all join in harmony. Even after this, the men continued to come closer to our deleted island. I looked at my fellow sirens, with the bodies of vultures and the heads of women, and they gave me a puzzled expression. Why weren't the men falling under our spell?

Odysseus Shipwrecked

As I walked back to the camp site, excited to go to my crew and tell them that we could finally set sail, I noticed something on the fire. As I got closer to my crew to see what they were cooking I thought to myself, "There has been no food for weeks. What could they be cooking?" When I arrived I saw a sight that sent shivers down my spine. My men were eating the sun gods cows after I had pleaded, begged, and ordered them not to, they slaughtered two of them and had cooked and eaten them. One of my men walked over and said, "Do you see Odysseus? There is no danger, we have not been killed or burned alive by the sun gods wrath. Here take a piece and fill your stomach before we take off." I looked down at the meet my stomach growling like a dog, but I forced myself to stay strong knowing that the meet was cursed. "No. I do not wish to eat this cursed meat and die like the rest of you."I said. He looked at me,  said nothing, and picked up the cow meat and stuffed it down his throat without saying anything. After an hour of laughing and eating, they walked over to the boat where I sat in silence, and my first mate said, "Nothing has happened. You were wrong and we are fine, not dropping over like the dead cattle we slaughtered." He said this with a grin. As we cast off from the shore I looked back on to the island and thought,"Were they right. Could I have eaten the meat and been fine? It doesn't matter for I am almost home." Two hours later we were hit by a bolt of red lightning and flung into the Charybdis where all my men but I died.